Chapter III

Amy was already in Smyth's when Samantha arrived. She waved Samantha to their usual table in the left corner by the till. It was quiet there and they could observe the customers without being imposed upon themselves.
Smyth's was one of the rarities in the North London - an actual old-fashioned English tea shop. Amy and Samantha often met in there as it brought back childhood memories of holidaying along the South England coast and visiting the plethora of tea shops along the beachfronts that would sell afternoon tea and cakes on three-tier silver stands. Smyth's was cosy, warm, and smelt of freshly baked bread. The tables were closely set and covered in heavy linen tablecloths. The counter was spread along the length of the shop and had all Samantha's favourite cakes on display.
“Hey!” beamed Amy as Samantha approached her. “You alright?”
“Yeah,” replied Samantha, returning the grin. “Been here long?”
“Nope, about ten minutes.”
“You want your usual? My treat?”
“Sure, thanks.”
Samantha dropped her coat over the back of her chair and headed to the counter. She ran her hand over the clear Formica and studied the cakes and biscuits on display. Amy's usual lemon cheesecake was there, but she couldn't see anything she particularly fancied.
“Help you?”
Samantha looked up and saw Tony grinning at her.
“Long time no see, Sammy!” he said. “Usual?”
“Uhm,” Samantha hummed, glancing over the selection. “I'll have some of the lemon cheesecake and a large cheese pastry.”
“Where's my favourite girl?”
“Finding God.”
Samantha looked up for Tony's reaction. All he did was roll his eyes.
“Again?” he sighed. “I'll I ever got was Lauren trying to find her purpose in life. It was like trying to live with a real-life movie heroine.”
Samantha nodded with a look of sympathy and gave him a sad smile. Tony saw the look and returned the sad smile.
“I'm sorry I broke it off with Lauren,” he said.
“You don't have to explain it to me,” Samantha said quickly. “Lauren isn't the easiest person to understand.”
“I just feel really bad, you know,” Tony said, smoothly co-ordinating cups and saucers and hot water in the teapot, without even giving it a second thought. “It's just that maybe I should have been there for Laurie when her dad…” He trailed off and his hands stopped moving. Samantha looked up at him and he was looking directly at her. “I'm sorry Sam.”
Samantha reached out over the counter and put her hand on Tony's shoulder. “It's okay,” she said. “No one knew it was gonna happen. Sure, it wasn't the greatest of timing, you breaking off the relationship and then Dad dying three days later, but…” Samantha shrugged her shoulders. “It doesn't change the fact that you and Lauren just didn't get on.”
“I guess,” Tony said, placing the tray up on the counter, and sliding it along to the till. “That's four seventy-five.”
Samantha handed him the money and squeezed it into his hand. “Don't let it worry you, okay?” she said. “You can always call just to say you're sorry you heard.”
“I guess,” Tony repeated. “Well, more customers to serve! Catch ya.”
Samantha took the tray and sat down at her table.
“Trouble?” asked Amy, taking her cheesecake and stabbing it with a fork.
“Just Tony being all sorrowful about Lauren again,” Samantha replied, removing the items from the tray and putting it on the next table.
“Does Lauren feel as bad?”
“She's too busy drowning her sorrows into Aunt Joan than worrying about her last relationship.”
“She not taking it all too well still?”
“No,” sighed Samantha, squeezing the teabags inside the teapot and stirring the contents. “I just spent this morning with her in Papadelli. We had remorse, anger, tears, the whole pretzel.” She poured the tea into the china cups and passed one to Amy. “Mum's started dating again.”
“Woah,” said Amy, nearly dropping her cup and saucer. “Bit early for that caper, isn't it?”
Samantha raised her eyebrows and bit her lower lip. “Yep,” she said, “and Lauren, surprisingly enough, isn't all too cool with it.”
“Well, I don't blame her,” said Amy, sprinkling sugar into her teacup and stirring milk into the contents. “I'm telling you, if one of my parents died and the other started dating within a matter of weeks, I wouldn't exactly be over the moon myself!”
Samantha sat in silence, mulling over her black tea.
“You not happy with it either?” asked Amy.
“I don't know,” replied Samantha, putting her tea down. She started picking at the icing strands on her cheese pastry. “It's just that as much as it hurts Lauren, I really don't think I'm in any position to stop her.”
“Why would you do that?” asked Amy.
“Why not?” demanded Samantha, notching her eyebrows. “She's not even thinking of the consequences of this. I agree with you: it's way too early for this. She should at least be grieving. You know, apart from the funeral I haven't seen her cry once. Not even at the hospital when they pronounced him dead.”
“Really?!”
“Yeah, she just went quiet and we all went home in silence. Me and Lauren cried there and then. Lauren even wanted to see the body but Mum wouldn't let her. Lauren was completely cold for about a week.”
“She shouldn't see the body,” said Amy, mouthful of cheesecake. “The last memory of someone shouldn't be as a corpse.”
“Yeah, well, anyway…” Samantha paused to eat some of the broken strands she'd picked off her pastry. “The funeral came about a week later and Mum cried during the service. But at the cemetery and all through the week when people were coming to the house to offer sympathy…”
“Not once?” cut in Amy.
“Not once,” Samantha said bitterly. “She just stayed stony faced throughout the entire thing. And now she's off to night clubs and pubs until ungodly hours of the morning.”
“You seen her?”
“Lauren misses her when she's not there during the night.”
“Oh.”
The girls sat in silence for a while, drinking their tea and Amy finishing off her cake. Samantha just picked at hers. The realisation that her mother was seemingly going off the rails was slowly taking formation and setting in. Her sister was always over dramatic but today she seemed genuinely confused. She didn't want her mother abandoning Lauren when she needed support.
“What is my mother doing?” she said out loud.
“Running away from her problems,” Amy concluded. “Sitting at home reminds her of what she's lost. So she goes out to escape that and forget her pain.”
“How profound (!)”
“I'm serious. What's the first thing you do when you break up with someone?”
“Cry?”
“Yes, and then you immediately try and find someone else to try and fill the void and ease the pain.”
“So, you're saying that my mother's on the rebound?”
“Sort of. A rebound for widows.”
“Not only is that ridiculous but it actually makes some kind of sense.”
“Of course it makes sense. I thought of it.”
“That doesn't condone her behaviour though.”
“No, well…” Amy put her fork down and folded her arms. “I guess she's just gonna have to get it out of her system before she realises what she's doing.”
“I can't wait that long,” protested Samantha. “Something bad could happen before she stops. Or what if she never does stop? She just parties until she kills herself. I know she's not naïve but it's so easy to get into drugs in the night scene and…”
“Would you just listen to yourself! You're sounding like Stuart!”
“Stuart lectures about drugs in the gay night scene. I'm talking about someone thinking Mum is easy and dropping Rohypnol in her drinks or handing around dope. She's an ex-smoker who gets drunk easily and I doubt she's being all that careful about trusting people.”
“She's emotional, not an idiot.”
“Still…” Samantha dropped her head into her hand. She felt tears beginning to sting at the back of her eyes.
Amy saw the emotion coming and placed a hand on her arm. “Sam, I know it hurts.”
Samantha looked up and shook her head to clear it. She blinked back a stray tear and took a few deep breaths to compose herself.
“Confront her,” Amy said. “And then at least you can tell her that you care.”
Samantha nodded.
“Now,” said Amy, brushing herself down, “I feel like another cuppa. You?”
“Sure.”
Amy returned minutes later with another teapot and set of cups and saucers. “Now,” she said, settling down in her chair and setting out the teacups, “lets talk about what we really want to discuss. Wedding!”
Samantha smiled and took her teacup from Amy. “Pete and I haven't discussed the particulars of it yet.”
“Why on earth not? You've only got…”
“Months yet!” Samantha interrupted. “Its only going to be a small affair and everyone lives relatively close by. I have spoken to Father Thomas and he's agreed to do the ceremony on a weekday in April. No one has small children so school days don't have to be booked off. Pete's brother has already arranged special leave at the school where he works so time off isn't going to be a problem.”
Amy smiled and shook her head. “You know some people prepare for years in advance. I can't believe you think it's all so simple.”
“Because it is so simple!” Samantha laughed. “It's about getting married. Its not about the perfect three tier cake or the perfect dress or the perfect strange guests who turn up just for the 'all you can eat' buffet. It's about getting married.”
Samantha paused to take a sip of tea.
“Of course,” she continued, “I do need the perfect dress though!”
“Whee!” exclaimed Amy, clapping her hands. “Wedding dress shopping!!”
“And bridesmaids are in order I believe.”
“Lauren would look great…”
“I mean you, doofus!”
“Really?” squealed Amy. “Oh, really?!” She got up and hugged Samantha. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“People are staring!”
“I don't care!” Amy turned to face the shop, full of customers who had stopped to watch this spectacle. “I'm gonna be her bridesmaid!” Amy squealed to the shop.
The customers just went back to their cakes.
Amy sat down again, positively beaming. “I've never been a bridesmaid before!”
“I know,” replied Samantha. “And you're my best friend so I can't not have you there, can I?”
“So, when we shopping?”
“Pete's coming over tonight for dinner. We're gonna discuss the ceremony in detail and I'll drop the reception stuff into the convo as well. It'll be good to just get it all on paper and agreed upon so nothing goes wrong during the run up.”
“You are gonna have the best wedding!”
“Okay, calm down!”
Amy took some deep breaths but couldn't stop grinning. It was infectious though, and Samantha couldn't help but smile back at her. At least this wedding should take her mind off family problems for the while.
“Well,” Amy said, “you let me know when you wanna wedding shop, any time, and I'll drop everything and come with you.”
“Okay,” agreed Samantha.
“Oh, and rope Stuart into it too,” Amy put in. “It'll be good to get a gay man's perspective.”
“I don't think he's the wedding type,” said Samantha, uncertainly. “I think he's the butch gay in that area. He's already offered to decorate the reception venue though. His boyf is an interior designer.”
“The Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen type?”
“More the Graham Cox type - all neutrals and minimalist accessories. No frills, weird wall features or themed rooms. Every room is its own haven.”
“Cool,” nodded Amy in approval. “So its just you and me?”
“And Lauren. I'm not having a maid-in-chief or anything that may provoke rivalry! Both equals!”
“What about Pete?”
“His brother is going to be best man. You know, the teacher?”
“What about his mates?”
“I don't know. There are so many of them and I don't think he singles any of them out in particular as 'best' friends. It's on the agenda for tonight's convo.”
“Okay,” said Amy, getting up from the table. “Well, I've gotta run. Call me when you wanna shop, okay?”
“Sure,” said Samantha, getting up and hugging her friend goodbye. “See ya.”
“Yeah, see ya,” waved Amy.

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